Tuesday, 25 September 2007

A Final Post

I am now in America again.
This will be my final post.
It seems right and fitting
that the last thing said
be of memory, and things forgotten.
So now I slough off this chapter.
I leave it to drift,
into vast and unknown regions
of the worldwide web.

Friday, 27 July 2007

Things I will probably forget:

1. That rock in my shoe the other day.
2. This delicious peach that I'm eating right now, dusty skin and all.
3. The name of our 'scout,' or maid, which escapes me at the moment.
4. Act 1 Scene 7 of Cymbeline.
5. The clouds outside my window right now.
6. The time I went in town to buy an Oxford sweatshirt and lost my 5th nalgene.
7. Some of the more stupid things that I've said, which is a good thing.
8. Which english cathedral is which.
9. How many times I checked my email yesterday, 4.
10. Feeling depressed and crabby the other day.
11. Writing this list.
12. The names of several people who know me.
13. That time a few days ago when a song brought on that powerful sense of deja vu.
14. The many moments in-between, walking somewhere, sitting on a bus, waiting in line, listening to conversations.

Thursday, 26 July 2007

Eagle and Child

By the way, I mentioned on tuesday that I ate at the Eagle and Child. Just a few blocks away from St. Anne's, this pub was once frequented by the 'Inklings,' a discussion group including J.R.R. Tolkien and Saint C.S. Lewis
It was dark, somewhat cramped, and smelled like beer, but overall it was fabulously quaint and historical-feeling. Plus it was cheap! I think I had a tuna-melt and chips, but that's beside the point. It was definitely nice sitting down and having a conversation with knowing friends, thinking of the loftier conversations that have passed through the place.
I think we joked about such things as the origin of the word 'pander.'
One other thing. Apparently there's some sort of national crisis going on right now. England is flooding, rivers are overflowing, power substations are being threatened, etc. But more on this later...

Last Class

Classes are finished. My friend Trae has already completed all of his exams and final essays, whereas I still have a few things to do. With his typical self-satisfaction, he said in his blog, "From here on, the pressure is off. Wonderful." How I loathe him. Actually, anyone who knows both of us will realize that I'm only kidding.
He told me that he was always the child who was eager to "get the spanking over with" and out of the way. I guess I have always been the one who would like to forget about it but nevertheless eventually has to take it.
So even though classes are finished, I still have some revision to do, as well as this take-home final exam for my Modern British Lit class. I've heard horror stories.
For a while yesterday I was in a bit of a foul mood, as I tend to be when I have something looming over my head. I felt angry and frustrated with some of the details of the final exam, as well as my experience of the course in general. I felt very much like something was being inflicted on me, something I didn't deserve. So I was determined to bite back and pour some of that anger into finishing all of my coursework, as if to say, "take that~!"
But I didn't accomplish much of anything, and I'm thankful for it.
The entire day the odds seemed to be stacked against me--everywhere a friend wanting to talk for a few minutes, a non-academic task that nevertheless demanded my attention, and the feeling that I couldn't focus well enough to accomplish anything.
I played the piano, talked with friends, had dinner, performed in a mini-concert thing for the group, stayed for a worship session, had a really long conversation with some other friends in a dimly-lit dorm-room, told some ghost stories, talked about vocation and calling and the meaning of life, and--to top it all off--I went out and had a kebab.
Normally avoiding my work would only intensify my anxiety; normally I'd be losing it by now. Strangely, however, I feel relieved, at peace, assured that "everything's gonna be alright." Sure, I have things to do, but I'll be ok. In fact, unstressed as I am, I might accomplish more in one day than I would in two stressful days.

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever."

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

the night is over

Just saw that Creation Theatre Company production of Hamlet, or as I like to call it, Hamlet with a handgun. More on this later. Went to the "Eagle and Child." But more on this later.
And more on many other subjects, such as the flood. At the moment, it's 11:40 and I've realized that I have once more forgotten to call back home. With the 7-hour difference in time-zones, I have been aiming to call around 9 or 10 o'clock. But the days waste away, and every night for three days I've realized that it's once again 11:40. It's always 11:40 when I realize that it's too late, that I'm tired, and that I'd like to go to bed.
So good night.
And if you're wondering why I haven't called, don't worry. I'll probably try to do that tomorrow evening--the last day of classes in Oxford.
Then we're off on the Northern Excursion.
So good night.

Monday, 23 July 2007

15 minutes

It's 6:15 PM Oxford Time.
Before lunch today I read for my afternoon class. Since then (for the past few hours), I haven't done much of anything. I'd like to do something productive now, but look! It's already 6:18, and dinner is at 6:30, and I'd like to be a little early. So I don't really have time for it now, do I?
6:19. Now I think I'll share a little with you about the last few days at Oxford. On Saturday we went to see Hamlet but got rained out. This modern production was really starting to get interesting--what with the gothic-industrial techno music and Hamlet brandishing a glock--when someone announced that the play would be postponed. So I went to a little cafe bakery place and had some tea, and what appeared to be small walnut cookies. But they tasted like sharp cheddar cheese. I almost gagged at the surprise, though I eventually enjoyed it once I got used to the thought.
6:24. Sigur Ros playing Saeglopur. The most nostalgic music I have ever listened to.
6:25. Well since I need to leave now, here is a quote from a Stoppards Invention of Love that I thought was really funny. Please don't be offended.
"A genuine love of learning is one of the two delinquencies which causes blindness and lead a young man to ruin."
On a completely different note, over the past few days I have been racked with anxiety about vocation/calling. I'm not sure what to do with my life...
!6:29! You know what that means.

Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Blog Themes

My blog should probably look different. I'm in England, having the time of my life. Studying, sight-seeing, lounging in Oxford's University Parks.
There should be blue-background, with white font, and a sunny picture of St. Anne's College. Maybe a picture of me catching a frisbee.
That's all too bad, because despite my 'happy-go-lucky' mentality, I just happen to be a fan of cool moon-photos, and pink floyd, and grey words set in a black background.
And 'digital caverns?' What's that, the dank receptacle for the musings of a clammy internet-hermit? Another misleading detail. I'm actually splendidly built, and tan. And I have many friends.
So as you read on, imagine the aforementioned frisbee picture, and that this is simply called 'JordBlog.'